Obsessing over “parenting”

This is in reaction to this article, where the author argues that our obsession with Parenting has gone too far.

Interesting. But isn’t it natural that the urge to feel in control of something so much bigger than ourselves and therefore uncontrollable (our kids) makes us parents totally ripe for “advice” and “best practice” parenting as a task/job on which we are being judged as if we were at school all over again?…

Although I probably fall into that trap sometimes (I read LOTS about what’s best for my children), I prefer to seek inspiration, read the science, listen to my heart and always listen to my kids first.

Relinquishing control is hard, as hard as being open and vulnerable to the world but is there any other way to feel fully alive?

It’s also fun, it’s a way of letting your child surprise you like Xavier did yesterday when he decided to bring his chairs from upstairs. (Why would he do that?) Instead of telling him no we just let him do it. It turns out that he has figured out that his stacked chairs, are the most stable thing to climb on and he wanted to climb to reach the bar in the kitchen to get himself a banana. He engineered a solution to get a banana instead of asking us. We were so proud of him! :)

Relinquish control is also the only way to not feel guilty for everything. And that’s important because one of the hardest lessons in being a parent is when your child pays for your mistakes… We all make many mistakes and the ability to forgive ourselves is so important. Otherwise we would turn into bitter self-loathing parents constantly filled with regrets. Not sure that’s the best kind of parent for a child to grow up with…

A sleepless night with my baby is

That night when your baby is not comfortable except in your arms and you find yourself holding him lovingly for hours and not sleeping – but it’s all good because he’s so small and he’s growing up so fast and in two minutes he’ll be a toddler like his brother who can’t be hugged whenever you want anymore and if you were to sleep you’d just never have enough of the cute little baby manners he’s so busy growing out of… not that you’ll ever have enough.

And as the night seems to stretch endlessly into a tired haze where the slow hours don’t make sense anymore, you realise that the years fly by like photons in a hurry and relativity takes on a whole new meaning.

And then the birds start to chirp, pulling you back to reality and soon tomorrow will be upon a tired mama and a beloved family and it will all be about remembering to pack an apple for school and being on time for breakfast and even if I’ll be exhausted I’ll have had the beautiful intimacy of holding my sleeping, totally trusting, totally mine (for a little while), peaceful baby all night like a dream, and I’ll be even more in love with all my boys.

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